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4 Best Relationship Books

Discover the best relationship books to deepen your connection and build long-lasting love with your partner.

luisa with sunglasses
Aswin Headshot

Written by,

Luisa and Aswin are an Intercultural Couple from Colombia and India.

Co-Founders of Masala of Cultures and US Dept. of State Scholars. 

Luisa Trujillo & Aswin Raghav

4 Best Relationship Books

Introduction

Reflecting on our love journey, we've encountered numerous twists and turns that made us think about personal growth and couple dynamics. At some point, learning about relationships and togetherness became an absolute need. We can't be the only ones thinking about how to do better in our romantic life, right? 


As an Indian and Colombian couple, we faced many challenges, which led us to look on the internet several times for random love tips. We've discovered a couple of things, but we're not experts. However, some people have mastered this delicate relationship balance, and we can learn from them.


We're excited to present our carefully curated list of the top relationship books, each offering unique perspectives and practical wisdom to help your love life thrive and blossom like never before.

The 4 Best Relationship Books

  1. I Hear You - Michael Sorensen

  2. Mating in Captivity - Esther Perel

  3. All About Love - bell hooks

  4. Listen, Learn, Love - Susie Albert Miller

I Hear You - Michael Sorensen

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I Hear You is a precious treasure that must be transmitted as much as possible. In three parts and 106 pages, Michael S. Sorensen taught me how to get better at the simple skill of listening. Yet, my biggest learning from this book was understanding what I needed in those conversations with my husband. I wasn’t looking for solutions or advice; I just wanted validation.


Just to make it clear: I needed ✨ VALIDATION. ✨


As simple as it sounds, most of us don’t know how to give it or how to request it. For that reason, Michael explains its importance and the 4-step validation method to start practicing as soon as possible.


You can’t imagine the number of highlights I’ve discovered in this book. It’s 100% straightforward and goes beyond the advice of “look into the speaker's eyes and nod.” Sorensen created a particular chapter on possible situations and how to deal with those conversations.

luisa with sunglasses

Mating in Captivity - Esther Perel

Mating in Captivity holds numerous real-life stories from Esther Perel’s sessions with patients. From young unmarried couples to husbands and wives in their 60s, there are so many different cases of sexual struggles documented.


Esther says getting too close to one’s partner nullifies any kind of want or desire. At the same time, when one part of the couple is involved in intermarital affairs, it crushes hearts. It’s hard to imagine how the same can happen upon the arrival of a baby, where one chore after another keeps the father and mother apart from each other.


Similar to this, there are so many more instances where we may feel sexually frustrated and unable to make sense of what happened to all the love and romance from years ago. This is when Esther suggests couples “work” and “schedule” lovemaking sessions to get out of the rut, despite the general connotation that scheduling love is strange.


The author also discusses fantasies and modern fetishes. Her concept of “inviting the third” can raise more than a few eyebrows. She says, “When we validate one another’s freedom within the relationship, we’re less inclined to search for it elsewhere.” This not only includes the presence of a third or fourth member, as in the case of threesomes or swingers, but also within the primary two—the husband and wife, in the form of fantasies, role plays, and other safer avenues.


The beauty of Mating in Captivity is how the message applies to most of the population, including people in homosexual relationships. We often avoid reading such books, saying to ourselves that nothing needs to be fixed and that everything is perfect. Even if it is correct, it’s still helpful to know how there could be problems and ways to overcome them when we are on the same road.

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Aswin Headshot

All About Love - bell hooks

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All About Love is an excellent read for anyone, but it can especially be effective for people who have faced traumatic experiences in the past. bell bares it all when it comes to her childhood trauma and adult relationships and thus approaches the topic with personal experience.


It is a book of thirteen carefully crafted chapters, each touching different aspects and values that we should consider and develop to build long-lasting love. As an African American female, bell does a terrific job of acknowledging the critical role of race and gender in love.


The power of communities in fostering love is indispensable. However, in today's fast-paced world, we often live far away from family and friends. The author reiterates the influence a healthy community can have by recounting how her church congregation acted as a place of comfort during her difficult childhood.


Patriarchy and child abuse are a couple of other significant topics that the author covers extensively. We rarely think of the influence such factors have on romantic love. However, every little thing plays its part, culminating in a bigger issue—people not ready to give or receive love.


Love does not come naturally. Lust does. Love can lead to sensuality, but not the other way around. Thinking otherwise is commonly a preconceived notion propagated by fairy-tale-like pop media. All About Love can be a great book if you are ready to let go of those and truly learn how to love. Don't mistake me; love can feel like a dream but only if you work for it. If your friend or cousin can, you can too. I'm rooting for you!

Aswin Headshot

Listen, Learn, Love - Susie Albert Miller

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In the journey to learn more about happy marriages and how to handle ours better, we have come to this book: Listen, Learn, Love (shortened for this blog’s purposes) by Susie Miller. At first sight, the book has a self-explanatory title, and its primary goal is to explain that not mastering these three skills can be a deal-breaker in all types of relationships.


I’d recommend Listen, Learn, Love to everyone who needs to improve a relationship and has had little (or no) contact with psychology or self-help books. Miller uses simple language and approachable stories from her coaching sessions and family experiences, which are relatable in many cases.


This book is short, and you can get the most out of it in a matter of hours. In 105 pages and six chapters, the author goes deep into learning how to 1) Listen, 2) Learn People, and 3) Love Well. The crucial aspect is that this is not just for romantic relationships. It’s for everyone who feels overwhelmed or frustrated with someone else, whether their parent, sibling, or friend.


The guide is simple to follow, and the tips are actionable. What makes this different, though, is Susie Miller's personal experiences. Her anecdotes are particularly relatable; to some degree, most of us have lived similar situations. I could feel her authenticity through the pages, and as she mentions, these three skills are simple to follow, elegant, and practical.

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Many books are available on love, romance, marriage, dating, infidelity, etc. However, we felt that these four books complement each other very well.


  • All About Love covers how love can be affected by childhood trauma, race, patriarchy, etc.

  • Mating in Captivity shares stories of couples with intimacy issues due to a myriad of different reasons but ultimately overcoming them.

  • In his book I Hear You, Michael Sorensen stresses the importance of validation, a crucial aspect of 21st-century life.

  • Susie Albert Miller's work Listen, Learn, Love encapsulates the three crucial aspects that can make or break relationships.


As we encounter different works and diverse voices, we will keep updating this list to recommend the best books on love so you can have beautiful and passionate relationships. In the comments below, let us know your thoughts or other books we should consider.


Happy reading and happy loving! ❤️

Conclusion

How We Choose

We're dedicated to providing insightful reviews of resources and products that empower individuals to build healthier relationships. Our recommendations are unbiased and based on thorough research. While we may earn commissions if you choose to buy any products, we focus solely on providing value to our readers. If we try something and we like it, we share it. We'll never recommend something that we won't use.


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