The moment my husband and I decided to become serious in the relationship, we knew that we’d also be opening the doors of our lives to whole new families. 🙈
Colombian and Indian cultures are very similar in terms of being close to your family. For that reason, when you’re married to or in a relationship with an Indian partner, navigating the dynamic with your Indian mother-in-law can sometimes feel challenging.
Thankfully, Aswin’s mother has been so sweet and helpful since I came to live in India.
Still, I’ve heard stories of people who haven’t run with the same luck. Is that you reading this article?
I can’t know for sure, but I guess you could have had moments where you thought, “My mother-in-law is turning my husband against me!”
It’s no secret that mother-in-laws can have a bad reputation, but if approached correctly, there’s so much more to the relationship that can bring joy and understanding.
India’s Emphasis on Families
Indian culture usually strongly emphasizes the importance of family, and your mother-in-law’s influence might come from a place of love and tradition. Understanding her perspective is crucial to helping bridge any gaps.
Not everything is based on her trying to come between you and your partner; she’s probably just profoundly invested in the family's well-being.
The Reputation is Often Misleading
Yes, the "bad reputation" of mother-in-laws is a tale as old as time, but it doesn’t have to define your relationship. It’s also important to remember that every person is different.
If you give your mother-in-law the chance, she might surprise you with her kindness, wisdom, and willingness to embrace you.
Communication is Your Best Friend
If you feel like your mother-in-law is creating tension or “turning your husband against you,” try to see it as an opportunity for open communication.
Speak to your partner, and more importantly, try to connect with your mother-in-law directly. If you don’t speak the same language, have you tried learning a few sentences or asked her to teach you?
Sometimes, all it takes is a heartfelt conversation to clear up misunderstandings and find common ground.
If this is not possible, remember that many people in India prefer to be non-confrontational, so set clear boundaries with your spouse to help share your feelings with his or her mom.
Your Indian Mother-in-Law Can Become Your Biggest Ally
Believe it or not, your Indian mother-in-law can become your strongest supporter. Once you’ve built trust and mutual respect, she’ll be there for you through thick and thin, offering guidance and help when needed.
And let's not forget – she raised the person you love!
Embrace the Positives
Focus on the beautiful aspects of having an Indian mother-in-law. From learning new recipes and experiencing rich cultural traditions to having an extra pair of hands in times of need, there’s so much she can bring to your life.
Don’t let time pass, letting the grudges grow. Instead, be clear and trust that she wants the best for you both.
Bottom Line
While it’s easy to focus on the challenges, your relationship with your Indian mother-in-law can be one of the most rewarding aspects of your life. You’ll find more reasons to love and appreciate her daily by embracing understanding, communication, and the positives.
This is a relationship worth nurturing because, after all, she’s part of the reason you have such a wonderful partner in your life! 😉
About the Author
Luisa Trujillo is one half of Masala. She's a dreamer, believer, and achiever from a cozy coffee farm in Risaralda, Colombia. Being in an intercultural and interreligious relationship with an Indian 16,000 km away since 2019, she has gained a fair bit of insight into love, travel, and culture.
In her other life, Luisa has been a Coffee Grower, Digital Marketer, English as a Foreign Language Teacher, and Translator with a bachelor's degree in Modern Languages. Thanks to the latter, she is now fluent in Spanish, English, and French and has basic knowledge of Portuguese, Japanese, and Russian.
Relationships, coffee, languages, and a thousand miles later, she decided to start a community online to share her experience through Masala of Cultures along with her other half, Aswin.
Luisa's insights can also be found on other parts of the internet, including NVCC.
Comments