All About Love talks about relationships and the longing for affection in the most personal and spiritual way. bell puts into words the different kinds of love, the emotional connections humans need, and how to give/get it from childhood to death.
The Review
All About Love is an excellent read for anyone, but it can especially be effective for people who have faced traumatic experiences in the past. bell bares it all when it comes to her childhood trauma and adult relationships and thus approaches the topic with personal experience.
It is a book of thirteen carefully crafted chapters, each touching different aspects and values that we should consider and develop to build long-lasting love. As an African-American female, bell does a terrific job of acknowledging the critical role of race and gender in love.
The power of communities in fostering love is indispensable. However, in today's fast-paced world, we often live far away from family and friends. The author reiterates the influence a healthy community can have by recounting how her church congregation acted as a place of comfort during her difficult childhood.
Patriarchy and child abuse are a couple of other significant topics that the author covers extensively. We rarely think of the influence such factors have on romantic love. However, every little thing plays its part, culminating in a bigger issue—people not ready to give or receive love.
Love does not come naturally. Lust does. Love can lead to sensuality, but not the other way around. Thinking otherwise is commonly a preconceived notion propagated by fairy-tale-like pop media. All About Love can be a great book if you are ready to let go of those and truly learn how to love. Don't mistake me; love can feel like a dream but only if you work for it. If your friend or cousin can, you can too. I'm rooting for you!
My Favorite Quotes from All About Love
“There is no aspect of sexuality that is not studied, talked about, or demonstrated. How-to classes exist for every dimension of sexuality, even masturbation. Yet schools for love do not exist. Everyone assumes that we will know how to love instinctively.” ~ bell hooks
We don't think about schools for love until reading this part. It is incredible how we take love for granted!
“As a society we are embarrassed by love. We treat it as if it were an obscenity. We reluctantly admit to it. Even saying the word makes us stumble and blush… Love is the most important thing in our lives, a passion for which we would fight or die, and yet we’re reluctant to linger over its names. Without a supple vocabulary, we can’t even talk or think about it directly.” ~ Diane Ackerman
This is especially true for the Eastern nations, where there can be stricter cultural traditions. Even in the world's most developed countries, we see many people hiding their love due to racism, homophobia, etc.
“Fundamentalist thinkers use religion to justify supporting imperialism, militarism, sexism, racism, homophobia. They deny the unifying message of love that is at the heart of every major religious tradition.” ~ bell hooks
I'm not religious, but it doesn't take one to figure that all religions preach love and peace. And yet, people twist the verses to fit their selfish agendas.
About bell hooks
bell hooks is the pen name of Gloria Jean Watkins, born and raised in Kentucky. Her early life in pre-Civil Rights America can be described as challenging—better put into words by herself in her memoir Bone Black: Memories of Girlhood, “a rich magical world of southern black culture that was sometimes paradisiacal and at other times terrifying.”
Publishing over 30 books in her lifetime, she tirelessly worked towards educating the masses on a wide range of topics ranging from race to sexuality. A feminist, political thinker, and spiritual soul, bell’s works supported many marginalized groups, including the LGBTQ+ community. She also self-described herself as queer—not as a sexual identity, "but about being at odds with everything around it."
bell was a distinguished educator. She taught at multiple educational institutions, including Stanford University, Yale University, and The City College of New York, before joining Berea College back in her home state. Borrowing her pen name from her maternal great-grandmother, she also put it in lowercase. She explains that the focus should be on her words and not her personal self.
About the Author
Aswin Raghav is one half of Masala. He's futuristic, passionate, and calm hailing from a rather not calm metropolitan city in Tamil Nadu, India. Living for more than 4 years in an intercultural and interreligious relationship with a Colombian 16,000 km away, he has acquired a decent understanding of love, travel, and culture.
In his other life, Aswin has been a National-level Athlete, Marketer, and Sustainability Advocate with a bachelor's degree in Business. Thanks to his business program, he won a US Government scholarship to study Entrepreneurship for a year in the US.
Love, cricket, business plans, and a thousand miles later, he decided to start a community online to share his experience through Masala of Cultures along with the other half of Masala, Luisa.
Aswin's insights can also be found on other parts of the internet, including NVCC and SSR.
Comments