Dear readers,
Growing up, I never felt interested in the issue of race. It was never a topic of conversation in my home because, for both my parents and me, a person's color doesn't define anything.
Colombia is immensely diverse, and I'm sure I lived in a bubble.
Only after 2019, when I went to the United States, I delved into what race, racism, and discrimination meant. At that time, I had to start having difficult conversations, recognize unconscious biases, and even learn what my race was - I'm still not sure. I guess I'm mestiza.
Although all the bad "jokes" that have reached my ears have been about prostitution and drugs, when I started a relationship with Aswin, I understood how cruel ignorance can be. Racism towards Indians exists, and it's regrettable.
But for people who have felt lost on this topic, we should start with the most basic aspects.
What is racism?
The Health & Wellbeing Centre of the University of Edinburgh says that racism is the oppression and marginalization based on skin color, ethnicity, nationality, and citizenship.
It includes prejudice, hatred, and discrimination manifested openly and directly or covertly and indirectly.
What about Colorism?
Another term I learned while living in India was Colorism. No, -sadly- it’s not art theory. This concept, rooted in racism, favors lighter-skinned individuals over darker-skinned ones.
In India, many people consider having “fair” skin to be instantly attractive. It’s possible to hear people saying, “If I weren’t dark, I’d feel beautiful.” There are thousands of body lotions that claim to change your skin color.
Even when I look like a zombie but white, people would say I look “good” because I have a “fairer” skin tone.
Like… WHAT?! It’s hard to write it because it’s so annoying!! This video from Echoes of South clearly portrays it.
As unfair as it sounds, this mindset is so deeply rooted in our society that it’s impossible to deny.
When you have an Indian partner, I can tell you that there are immense challenges in the prejudice area.
So…
How do we overcome prejudice as an interracial couple?
Communication
Don’t be shy to discuss your experiences and feelings about racism. It’s enough to put up with insensibility; everyone has a right to respectfully share what they have experienced—or not—to maintain understanding and support for each other.
Support Network
We gotta surround ourselves with friends, family, and groups who appreciate and cherish our love.
We belong to a group, and we’re there for each other. I hope this can be a new place of belonging for you too, reader.
Education
We know we must learn about each other’s cultures, but sharing this knowledge with others also creates awareness among friends and family to recognize what’s acceptable and what’s not.
Stand Up Against Racism
Address racist behavior instantly and without hesitation. There’s no need to make drama, just concrete and mighty limits.
I’d say, “That comment makes me terribly uncomfortable. What’s your intention with saying that?”
Or, even simpler: “That’s a hurtful comment, and I won’t tolerate that behavior toward my partner or me.”
Celebrate our Colors
Seeing how wonderful our skins and contrasting cultures merge together is a rebellious act against the darkness of division. We’re different, and we love it.
Conclusion
To finish, there’s no easy way to stand up against injustices like racism. But if we don’t do it, then who?
As a mixed person married to an Indian man, I’m longing to create a safe space for my family. A place where my kids will grow up feeling recognized and beautiful.
Don’t hold grudges against humans who identify with a broken system, but be firm in protecting the boundaries to have a happy life.
I pray so all of us can have the bliss of living happily no matter what.
With love,
Luisa Dahianna
About the Author
Luisa Trujillo is one half of Masala. She's a dreamer, believer, and achiever from a cozy coffee farm in Risaralda, Colombia. Being in an intercultural and interreligious relationship with an Indian 16,000 km away since 2019, she has gained a fair bit of insight into love, travel, and culture.
In her other life, Luisa has been a Coffee Grower, Digital Marketer, English as a Foreign Language Teacher, and Translator with a bachelor's degree in Modern Languages. Thanks to the latter, she is now fluent in Spanish, English, and French and has basic knowledge of Portuguese, Japanese, and Russian.
Relationships, coffee, languages, and a thousand miles later, she decided to start a community online to share her experience through Masala of Cultures along with her other half, Aswin.
Luisa's insights can also be found on other parts of the internet, including NVCC.
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