Dear readers,
Picture this: you’re born into a bubble, and you’re taught a language, a belief system, a combination of flavors and music just because that’s the way it is. Then, imagine that you move outside your bubble to another one, but everyone speaks, believes, and lives entirely differently there. The most obvious reaction is SHOCK.
I was born and raised on a coffee farm in the Andean mountains of Colombia. I grew up with nice music, a slow life pace, and tons of nature around. Once I met my Indian love, Aswin, I quickly understood that I could either live in shock because of our cultural differences or I had to cope with the challenges.
In this blog entry, I’ll explain some theories about cultural shock and share my story of getting used to living in India. I’ll also tell you my secret tips to ensure you survive to tell the story!
“Culture is a way of coping with the world by defining it in detail.”
~ Malcolm Bradbury
What is Culture Shock?
Once you experience a new, unfamiliar culture, it’s common to have feelings of disorientation, confusion, and anxiety. It can happen when the culture you are accustomed to is drastically different from the new one, either in the environment, social norms, values, and customs.
You don’t have to move countries to experience this; even within your own country, you might experience culture shock. A new workplace, a new school, different cities, or, like in my case, different continents.
There are four stages of culture shock: the honeymoon, the negotiation, the adjustment, and the adaptation stage. We have a podcast episode narrating some of our experiences and the theory of the Cultural shock U-Curve model.
Honeymoon Phase
This is the first stage of your journey. You’re thrilled, full of excitement and fascination with the new culture. Everything seems exciting and exotic; you’re walking on optimistic pink clouds and eager to eat the world while exploring new surroundings.
I came to India in November 2023. God, those days trying so much new food! Seeing cows in the streets? COOL! Do you want to visit temples? Heck YEEEAAAH! What about celebrating Diwali? YAY.
I was delighted because every single day gave me the chance to be even more surprised than the day before. As the name says, it’s a honeymoon! Little did I know about the actual challenges I had to encounter…
Negotiation Phase
Some weeks/months have passed, you’re getting used to things in your new place, and that excitement is slowly fading. Suddenly, you have to confront the challenges of living in a new culture. Either the language, the social norms, or the simple daily routines become drowning. You can feel frustration, homesickness, and anxiety. Agh, this is the hardest part.
I discovered that I was having a tough time making friends. I basically had zero people to talk to while my husband was working, and trying to find a neat park to spend some time in silence surrounded by nature became a physical necessity.
Why do they honk so much in the streets? And the dirtiness? I miss my food! *Proceeds to bawl her eyes out because she can’t eat arepas daily.*
Breathe in… Breathe out. Everything in life has a solution. Let’s get adjusted.
Adjustment Phase
Humans are animals of habit. You start to understand and get used to cultural differences, learn how to navigate daily challenges, and establish routines. This stage is marked by a gradual increase in comfort and competence in the new environment.
Why? Because you can actually develop a balanced view of the new culture.
It’s been as simple as eating an Indian lunch and cooking something more familiar for dinner. On weekends, we take an auto to the park 30 minutes from home or eat a burrito outside (because beans are never enough).
The point is that you must look for ways to find balance in your life. If you try to deny everything that has been normal to you for the past couple of years to fit in, you might lose yourself in the process.
Adaptation Phase
In this final stage, you’ve done it! You’ve achieved a level of cultural competency and can comfortably live and work within the new culture. Still, this doesn’t mean you lose your original cultural identity; it means you integrate aspects of the new culture into your life. This stage reflects a stable adjustment and acceptance of the new cultural environment.
I’d love to say I’m there when it comes to living in India, but that would be a lie. Sometimes, I think I’m used to living here, but something happens, and I’m back to my negotiation phase. I’m learning how to manage communication styles and social expectations.
If you’ve reached this point, contact me! I’d love to hear about your experiences and be inspired.
Ok, enough theory. GIMME THE USEFUL STUFF, LUISA!
What can I do to overcome culture shock?
Get informed: Prepare yourself mentally for the place where you’re going. Search online for others’ experiences, read blogs, books, etc. But do it wisely; their story is not yours.
Analyze your own culture: What aspects of your culture are non-negotiable? What things are you not willing to change? Maybe it’s related to food, how to use time or even religion. Understand that your old way is not the only one, but there are aspects you’d like to respect and protect.
Keep an open mind: You’ll definitely have your limits, but be open to trying the unknown. It might give you the best of surprises. 😉
Ask for help: Honestly, this has been the hardest for me. In my trial to be the “I can do it all” type of girl, I’ve suffered unnecessarily. It’s okay to struggle, and there are good people out there who are willing to lend a hand.
Find your tribe: Some people emphasize that you should only mingle with locals, but if you haven’t had the chance, make friends with people who are in similar situations to yours. In fact, one of the nicest people I’ve met in India is a Russian girl and her partner. We’ve had similar experiences, and we can actually explore this country without isolating ourselves.
Give yourself grace: Managing stress can be a stressful event by itself. Don’t overdo it; it’s fine if you feel lost. Most of us have felt the same way many times. I’ve cried so much about it, but hey! It’s your life, your experience, and nobody -not even this blog- can dictate how you should live culture shock. FEEL FREE TO ENJOY THE RIDE!
Culture shock is confusing to some, unexistent to others, or a continuous cycle of ups and downs. You can find thousands of theories and texts to tell you how to live, but in the end, you’re the writer of your story.
I want you to know that you can contact us directly rather than just reading tips. We might not have all the answers, but we will hear you. That’s what I’ve needed the most while processing my culture shock.
Sincerely,
Luisa Dahianna
About the Author
Luisa Trujillo is one half of Masala. She's a dreamer, believer, and achiever from a cozy coffee farm in Risaralda, Colombia. Being in an intercultural and interreligious relationship with an Indian 16,000 km away since 2019, she has gained a fair bit of insight into love, travel, and culture.
In her other life, Luisa has been a Coffee Grower, Digital Marketer, English as a Foreign Language Teacher, and Translator with a bachelor's degree in Modern Languages. Thanks to the latter, she is now fluent in Spanish, English, and French and has basic knowledge of Portuguese, Japanese, and Russian.
Relationships, coffee, languages, and a thousand miles later, she decided to start a community online to share her experience through Masala of Cultures along with her other half, Aswin.
Luisa's insights can also be found on other parts of the internet, including NVCC.
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